October 3, 2009

dePRESSiON

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:22 am by Dan Barnett

I’ve been jobless now for 13 months.  I’m working part-time, but that barely covers much.  I’ve always been able to have the answers for times like this and, if not, I was able to keep my head and be an encouragement for Beth.  It’s funny how God shifts things around.

When we had our miscarriage a few years ago, I was able to remain in tact and help Beth through it.  When I lost my job, I was able to point to God and to what he had done in the past. 

Lately I’ve had a harder time of doing that for myself let alone Beth.  I described my emotional state to someone last night as a mixture of depression, frustration, and exhaustion.  Last night, while I was driving, the songs on the radio spoke to me very clearly.  Almost every one of them attested to God’s timing, his hope, and his provision.  “I will Rise” by Chris Tomlin spoke the loudest until I had just finished sweeping my last lot of the night.  It was about 2 minutes after I left the store when “Cinderella” by Stephen Curtis Chapman came on.  I was reminded immediately of what I have in my life that without God’s design wouldn’t be there.  The song has new meaning coming from him now, since he lost his daughter to an accident at home.  I’m reminded again how much God has provided and continues to through this trying time. 

My life verse is Philippians 3:14.  Boy have I forgotten it lately.  My hope is that days and months from now I will be able to stand and confess that I pressed on. 

Funny how the simple sentence, “I pressed on” is depression rearranged.  I must remember when I feel I’m done, to press on.

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

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