September 23, 2008

Looking back—Finding hope for what’s ahead.

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:37 pm by Dan Barnett

A quick update first—-I didn’t get the job in Cary.  My abs literally gave out during the sit-up test, something that’s never happened to me before.  I’m looking forward to testing on October 4 for the Richmond PD and October 25 for McHenry CO. Sheriff.

I’ve been revisiting a few old posts today trying to find something to share with my wife.  We’ve been through a very rough last couple of days, and we’re looking for strength once again. 

God has shown  himself plenty these last few weeks.  Logic would say not to worry, but we’re human as well.  We’ve had a few deep talks and cried a bit, and one thing is clear—–We’re exhausted.  The strain this has brought on our minds and our relationship has just wiped us out.  I believe we are closer than ever through this, but seeing the joy in that is hard looking through clouds of fear, anxiety, and weariness.  Headaches just come without hesitation and seem all too common.  I know that this is where God has needed us to be able to work on us, and now I am just begging God for clear answers of what we need to do.  What do I need to change?  How can I help her see what she needs to change?  In the words of Austin Powers, “Oh no I’ve gone cross-eyed!”

I went back through some old posts and found three songs–all by the same artist—that minister to me in  this situation.  I’d like to share them with you. 

The first is what I need to be convicted of.  I may be exhausted, my job may be gone, and I may not have answers that I can see right now, but He is still God and always will be.  The song is

“You are Still God” by Scott Krippayne”

 

Number 2 shows a recognition of how I have allowed myself to hide the hurt and hide the fear.

Video Here

NO MORE PReTenDing–Scott Krippayne

I can look good when I want to
I know the right things to say
I cover up what I don’t want you to see
But you see it anyway
Maybe I think I can fool you
Maybe I’m fooling myself
I want to change but I don’t know how
And I need your help

Chorus
No more pretending
No more pretending
Lord, I know I need to tell you the truth tonight
But everything is not alright in my life
And I need you like never before
I don’t want to pretend anymore

I’m tired of hiding my weakness
I’m tired of trying to look strong
I don’t want to say that everything’s fine
When there’s so much that’s wrong

Tell me again that you love me
Though it’s more than my heart understands
And I will lay down my disguises
And show You who I am

And Number 3 is my prayer as I have reached a point now where I have no more strength to do this that God will carry us through and leave no question that it was him.  The song is “Carry Me” By Scott K.

Ok number 4 is what I know to be true about my stubbornness in any trial.

So the life-verse of many is what I claim, only now understanding the context of God telling his children they will be handed over into exile but through it all—-“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Through the “betrayal” as we see it, God has a plan and we will see it completed if we’re faithful to him.

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