March 28, 2007

“Alyssa Lies”

Posted in Things That Make Me Cry at 10:07 pm by Dan Barnett

There’s this one song that I can’t stand to listen to. It’s called “Alyssa Lies.” A young girl comes home and tells her dad about her new friend, Alyssa. She just doesn’t understand why Alyssa lies to everyone, but she’s always trying to cover up her bruises. She prays for God to bless Alyssa because she needs Him so bad. In the last verse, the girl’s dad has to try to explain to his daughter why Alyssa isn’t going to be at school that day. He tells her that Alyssa is in a better place, but she doesn’t lie anymore. As the song progresses I always just fill with disgust thinking of how I would feel if I found out a child in my life was being abused. We’ve been entrusted with such a high responsibility of raising our children. When I throw my son above my head, I could choose to just not hold out my hand. But, that small decision could change his life forever if not end it. He would probably be hurt physically. But, more than that, his trust has been marred. He will be cautious and reluctant whenever trust is required of him. He’ll have fears that may not have been there otherwise. He will not have an accurate picture of the loving arms of his Heavenly Father. The choices we make on how to treat our kids multiply more than we think at the time. How many times have you smacked your kids or spanked them out of anger. It’s easy to do. After all, it’s a right to spank, right? No it isn’t a right. It’s a commandment to be used properly and at the right time. God has us use it as a tool of discipline and love. I’ve spanked my kids before as a reaction. I feel like crap afterwards. I’ll take Kaitlyn in the other room, and apologize to her. Doing it out of anger creates fear of authority. Authority is not something to achieve or flaunt. It is a gift and responsibility given to us that is easily lost in its true sense. Chip Ingram said in a seminar on parenting that if he is angry at his kids for disobeying he will tell them that they are going to get one, but not until he is calmed down. Our children are so precious and fragile in every part of their being. One move by us changes everything about what they value in themselves and/or worse, what they search for in a mate. We should act accordingly.
The part that makes the song so hard to listen to for me is the end. When he starts saying that Alyssa doesn’t lie anymore and that she has no more bruises, I get all emotional. I hate it because I only hear the song when I’m at work. It reminds me every time of the child Beth and I have growing up in Heaven. It just stirs everything in me. She doesn’t have to worry about those fears, because they aren’t possible there. Take time to realize what a gift you have if you have kids. But don’t forget how big of a responsibility it is. Just as with our money and possessions, we are stewards of our children. We should treat them accordingly.

Comments On This Post From My Old Site:

Janelle Lachcik said…
Good song. It definitely has a strong message. The first time I heard it, I was crying. I still get misty when I hear it now.

March 1, 2007 11:10 PM



  1. katm said,

    As an adult that lived through an abusive childhood, this song brings me to tears every time I hear it. There are times when I have to turn it off as it hits me way too hard.

    I pray every day for all the children like Alyssa. I pray for a day when child abuse is just a horrible memory for society. Do I think it will happen any time soon? No. I’m not that naive. But it’s my prayer.

    I recently started blogging about my experiences. If that helps just one child, then perhaps my childhood wasn’t for naught.


  2. Dan Barnett said,

    I’m sorry to hear of your hurt. It’s so encouraging to know that you have found God’s love and coomfort in your life. Thanks for the comment.

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