Tonight, my heart was broken by my daughter.  We were having the typical night of the kids going crazy  and disobeying everything we say.  Kaitlyn went a bit too far, and she was told she was getting a spanking.  When I took her into our room, she continued to tell me she would be good.  I told her not to try to make a deal with me.  Anyway, as it neared to the spanking, I talked through with her what she had done.  She understood that what she did was sin and needed to be punished.  She knows about Jesus dying for her, and has trusted in him as her savior(which is something we will not question but nurture and search for fruit).  As I talked about God punishing his son for our sin instead of us, I explained to her what mercy is.  I told her that mercy is when we sin and should be punished, but God chooses not to punish us but chose instead to punish Jesus on the cross.  The conversation then went like this:

ME:  Daddy is going to give you mercy tonight.

Kaitlyn(Balling hysterically): But, I don’t want it!  I don’t want it!

ME: Wait, wait, wait.  Kaitlyn, that is a good thing.  Kaitlyn, stop crying. 

Kaitlyn:  Please, no.

I then had to explain to her that mercy is not what God did to Jesus, but what he didn’t do to us.  So, we sat and talked while she calmed down.  We then prayed, and she asked Jesus to forgive her for sinning.  It was sweet, but I couldn’t imagine what was going through her head when I said that to her. 

I took Landon and Kaitlyn out today for a second attempt at making them enjoy ice-fishing.  I came prepared with the shanty this time.  I had a hard time finding time to set it up because they kept catching fish. 

A while back I posted a few posts about the sings I would share with my kids.  Now that Collin has been here for 6 months, I guess it’s his turn.  There are 2 songs I picked for Collin before he was born, and they still hang true now.  The first is “Holy Moment.”  After driving 90 Mph to the hospital, and trying in vain to get Beth not to push, I remember watching Collin slip out onto the bed.  I always thought that after each kid, the births would just seem routine.  Of course, that’s a stupid thought.  It was truly amazing to see him for the first time.  I always go to the nursery with the nurse to watch all the kids’ tests.  There’s just something special about standing there and staring at your kid for no reason. 

A couple of weeks ago, Beth and I sat down and privately dedicated Collin to God.  It was a special moment for the two of us, as we prayed for wisdom to raise him, and we prayed that God would raise him to serve Him.  This song en-capsulizes all of that for me. It’s called “Proud Father” by Jon Mclaughlin.

Today was the big day.  This was Kaitlyn’s first AWANA Grand Prix(Pinewood Derby knock-off).  This was also Mine and Beth’s first time as parents.  Kaitlyn took third place in the Cubbies’ division, as well as best design in the Cubbies.  We  were really happy for her.  She also got to watch her cousins take first in Cubbies, and first and second in Sparks.  That’s my girl!

Apparently I have been “tagged” by my sister-in-law.  So, to appease these women who have started chasing each other all over the internet and didn’t realize I’m a boy and not a girl, I will give 8 random things about myself that you may not know.  Beware, this is pretty dull.

1. I was once a woman.

2. My dad once intervened when a woman tried to offer me narcotics.

3. I was mugged in 8th grade.

4. I once infected my Social Studies by improperly dispersing a volatile amount of ch4.

5. I have soiled myself 3 times since my Senior year in Highschool.

6. I survived a brutal attack aimed at neutering me.

7. I’m in a book.

8. I once played soccer with real, full-blooded Indians.

God’s Arms

In our arms we hoped to hold you, safe from all harm.

With our eyes we hoped to see you grow up and behold

The future that awaited you filled with hopes and dreams.

We wanted to kiss you and show you our love

And teach you the love of our God up above.

But God’s plans were greater than we can ever dream.

He planned your life perfectly,

Though too short it seemed.

For although I could hold you for moments at a time

His arms are greater, much greater than mine.

Now in my dreams I long to know you as the blessing you are.

As I wait for that glorious day, when your face I’ll behold.

And when the future that awaited us is finally revealed

I’ll run to you and hold you and fully understand

Of how the point of it all was hidden in His hands.

Because…

Oh how I wish I could hold you for moments at least,

But you were always God’s little one.

And, now you’re safe in His arms.

This is the song I wrote for our “glory baby”.   

Beth ha t go and write a post on her blog that teared me up.  GEez!

Our pastor preached on Psalm 121 on Sunday.  What timing of this passage.  God is great.

Some of you have heard of Beth’s mom’s recent spat with possible Ovarian Cancer.   They had found a huge mass on her ovary a few weeks ago.  Beth’s grandma told her mom a few days before the exploratory surgery that she had Catholics, Methodists,and Baptists praying for her, so she was pretty much covered.  We chuckled at it, but it was great to see how many people were praying for her.  After the surgery this past week, I told Beth the Pentecostals must have been praying to(again as humor).  When the doctors went in they were expecting to remove both ovaries and possibly a kidney, as there seemed to be something on one of them as well.  Praise God, because he made it quite a bit easier and showed up with his power.  The doctors found no trace of this mass on her ovary.  There was no sign of tumors anywhere, and they dug around quite a bit to find it.  We’re very excited at what God has done. 

Monday, November 5,  is the one-year mark of when Beth and I lost our little girl a couple weeks after conception.  We miss her today still, but we know she’s in good hands.  These are two songs that help me when I think of her.  I know Beth loved “Glory Baby” before we were married.  I remember her telling me how sad it made her to think of the loss the couple who wrote the song had.  “I hope that never happens to me.”  There’s one line in the song that gets me each time.  When I think of our loss and the pain it brought.  This line reminds me it’s ok.  “Heaven is your home, and it’s all you’l ever know…”  My daughter will never experience hurt, sadness, disappointment, and the list goes on.  All she will ever know is the perfect life intended for her at Christ’s feet. 

Take a gander at the sidebar.  I have my blogroll redone. 

Adam Farmer is my brother-in-law.  He’s a student at Northland Baptist Bible College in Dunbar, Wisconsin.  He has some very insightful thoughts, lessons, poems, and songs that he enjoys posting.  I encourage you to check out his site as well as the others on the blogroll.

Beth Barnett is my wife.  She likes to blog with some thoughs of her own as well as fitness advice, and she also likes quotes and blogging about our family.  Check it out.  It’s mostly geared toward women, but it’s a good update on our family.

 The Desiring God blog is the blog for the Desiring God ministries led by John Piper.  DesiringGod.org is an awesome resource.

 Hollie Mortimer is our neighbor and a close friend.  She blogs mostly about her kids and her husband.  I just like to read about them from time to time.

Joe Thorn, or Pastor Joe as he is commonly referred to by my pastor, is the pastor of Redeemer Fellowship in St. Charles, Illinois.  He has started blogging again after a month-long break.  His new focus is on things relevant to his local church, but you can learn a lot from what he has to say.

Steve McCoy is my pastor and friend.  His site is generally more geared toward pastors, but he has some very helpful links to many other blogs and leaders.

My running blog is just that.  It’s a blog I set up to journal my running.

Timmy Brister is a seminary student here in Illinois.  I’m excited to get updates at his blog on his wife’s first pregnancy.  He also does a lot of book reviews and informative posts on the SBC(Southern Baptist Convention). 

John Barnett is my oldest brother.  His blog is not as serious as a lot of others, but he has fun, and it is fun to read.  He also has most of his sermons in type on there.

So, there’s my blogroll.  Check out all these sites.  You never know what you’ll find.

  So I broke down and did it.  I took Kaitlyn and Landon to see The Wiggles.  Kaitlyn told me she wanted a yellow shirt like Greg wears.  I explained to her that Greg wasn’t with them anymore, and that Sammy is the new yellow Wiggle.  When the concert started she saw Sammy and said, “The yellow one is different, Daddy!”  She had forgotten our conversation, but she still noticed the difference.   Landon sat on my lap with the same straight face until half way through.  As soon as his arms started moving there was no stopping him.  I told my brother that the prices for the merchandise were a rip off.  So there I was at the merch. table getting one yellow shirt, one blue shirt, one Capt. Feathersword hat, and one Dorothy the Dinosaur hat.  Add a dinner at McDonald’s on the way there and icecream at McDonald’s on the way home and I’m tapped.  It was worth the $35 per ticket to see the kids have that much fun.  And yes, I did the motions to “Rock-a-bye Your Bear” and waved my cell phone on the air with the many other lame parents during “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” as they turned out all the lights.  I was a twinkling star in the night sky for my kids.